Melbourne CBD shooting victim Kaera Douglas 'tortured by guilt'

Ms Douglas is tormented by the horror of June 18, 2007, which left Brendan Keilar dead, while Ms Douglas and Dutch backpacker Paul de Waard fought for their lives in hospital.

Ms Douglas, then 24, was shot in the stomach and had to have a kidney removed.

In her first interview since convicted killer Christopher Wayne Hudson's drug-fuelled city attack, Ms Douglas said she had finally started moving on with her life.

She said the past 15 months had been the worst of her life, fighting anxiety, guilt and anorexia. But it's the emotional scars that had pained her the most.

Mr Keilar and Mr de Waard were both shot when they ran to her aid.

"I couldn't put into words what I feel for him (Mr Keilar)," she said. "There's nothing I could say that would make it better.

"How do you say, 'I'm sorry.'? How do you say, 'Thank you.'?

"I want to say to all the young girls out there who ever think of taking a drug, who ever think of dancing, dating a bikie, don't do what I did - it's not pretty, there's nothing glamorous, nothing cool about it.

"In your worst nightmares you could not imagine how low it was.

"But I only look forward now, not back."

Ms Douglas said she had been back to the site of the shooting.

She had also tried to contact Mr Keilar's family but they did not wish to meet her.